Lekhny post -29-Aug-2022 burnt

Lighting a match he let the fire lick up to his fingers, he dropped the blackened, burning match into a cup of stale coffee, relishing in the familiar sound of the extinguished flame. His burnt fingers and lips were tokens of his fate, it seemed. The fire was somehow apart of him. They shouldn't have died, they shouldn't have suffered. It was him who deserved to live the pain, he watched the fire consume the light of two living souls as he remained unharmed, and the forgiving look in their eyes haunted him every day there after. 'Fuck.' He knocked the cup off the table, it crashed into the wall spraying coffee across the kitchen. he sourly wiped a droplet from his cheek. He lit a cigarette and taunted the tips of his fingers with the burning embers. 'Jason-' Like a deer caught in headlights, he looked toward the shadow of his mother, a half burnt face and a loving smile comforted him. She remained as beautiful as he remembered. 'Go away, Mom.' 'Jason,' 'Get the hell out of here, I said!' She disappeared. He drug the end of his cigarette into the back of his hand, wincing with pain and pleasure. He yanked open the door of his apartment, leaving a hole in the wall behind him. 'Son,' His face was stern and black, his suspenders undamaged, his hands on his hips, his gold watch smiling up at Jason. He put his hand on Jason's shoulder, 'Get off me, Dad.' Jason whimpered, feeling childish. 'Listen to me-' 'No Dad, I can't... Just leave me alone.' 'You never failed me, Son.' 'Shut up.' 'I still love you...' 'Well, you shouldn't. Just go away, Dad. Please. Just. Go.' He disappeared from view, but somewhere beyond he was still there- Watching, judging, loving. He felt unworthy of his parent's undying love, he felt unworthy of everything. the world had burned down around him, leaving a small shivering glimmer of life, intact by will. Everything he knew was suddenly reduced to charred rubble, gone. And all he knew of himself had worn away too, getting lost with the ashes in the wind. He was gone, he always had been, it was was how he learned to live, not really live, but to survive. What was left of Jason was slowly falling to pieces in front of his own eyes. He'd knowingly entered a different realm of madness, where nothing was real, and nothing mattered. he could no longer decipher reality from insanity, and he no longer cared. The only thing that kept him from floating off the universe was the shadows of his parents, and the blazing fire inside of him. Dousing the truck of an old Oak, he lights a single match. He can hear their voices in the crackling wood; he can see their eyes in the white flames, licking towards the sky. Look what you've created. Look what I've become. Are you still proud, Dad? Are you? The fire had grown and spread out into it's limbs, and when the burden was too much the limb started to crack and fall. only this time is was different. The limb fell against a shingled roof, and weighing it's burning burden on it's neighbor. It was blazing. That was his house, that was his face peering out of the attic window, a shimmering tear rolling down his round cheek. He can hear his parents wailing, in his mind and in the air. The house starts to collapse on it's self. Jason is suddenly face to face with his reality. He was alive again, for the first time. He was running before he realized his feet were moving and the tears were streaming before he felt the pain. Wiping sweat and vomit from his face, he stepped into the real world again, he could feel thee cold air on his cheeks and taste the metallic of blood in his mouth. He heard sirens behind him, and he saw his dismal apartment in the distance, ducking underneath the entrance, he flattened himself against the concrete wall, sucking in a burning lung-full of cold air. The sirens fly past him, he closes his eyes tight and watches the colors dance on the insides of his lids. 'Who are you?' A small voice growls, Jason opens an eye, a small elderly woman peeks out from her apartment door, the end of her black umbrella pointing straight at Jason's heart. 'I'm... I live u